Validation from others is one of the best tools to help emotionally sensitive people manage their emotions effectively.Self-validation is one of the best ways for emotionally sensitive people to manage their own feelings.
We are demonstrating that we will still accept them after they have shared their feelings. How strongly are you feeling that (on a scale of 0-10)? We feel connected with them and they feel connected with us.
We let them know that we respect their perception of things at that moment. Just the other day we took a small boy to the doctor's office and I asked him if he was a little bit scared.
Validation is mentioned in Marsha Linehan’s Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
To understand validation we need to understand the biosocial theory of BPD.
Self-validation is the step that comes before self-compassion.
Acknowledging that the internal experience exists and is understandable comes before self-kindness.
The relationship will be better because with more validation you are going to have less debating, less conflicts, and less disagreement. When a person is feeling down, these bonds are sometimes all that another person needs to begin to feel better and solve their own problems.
You will also find that validation opens people up and helps them feel free to communicate with you. On the other hand, when they are feeling excited and enthusiastic, this validation encourages them and helps keep their spirits high.
An overview of Valerie Porr’s Book Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change (2010).* Families must try new strategies especially when their loved one refuses to get help.
Be assured that I do not want to blame parents for causing the problem. However parents can change their attitudes and improve their communication skills which will help their adult child.
Some of the better approaches to acknowledging that you are receiving a person’s message are when you respond in one of the following ways: • What you’re saying is ……. When we validate we’re not judging whether a person is right or wrong.