It’s upsetting that my audience doesn’t always find them as gripping as I do.
Any chance I get, I whip out my i Phone – bless modern technology – and show strangers on the bus photos of my two granddaughters, aged seven and four.
So you can imagine my delight when in 2011, Gransnet, the website designed specifically for DGs like me – there are currently 14 million grandparents in Britain – was launched by those thoughtful Mumsnet people.
In the time we’re together, Hancock talks a lot of sense on a giddying range of subjects – including love, loss, motherhood, money, sex (‘how unseemly at my age’) – even if she concludes almost every observation by saying, ‘But what do I know?
’ or ‘Of course, I’m no expert.’She points out several times that she hasn’t been to university, and seems to think a ‘proper education’ would enable her to express herself more eloquently.
Some simple daytime preparation can go a long, very sexy way later on date night.
, suggests taking the time to close your eyes and imagine your favorite sexual fantasy. "It's a great way to heat yourself up."Prepare your bedroom.
The book itself adopts an admirably light touch as it guides us through the potential minefield that is modern grannying. ''That’s really dangerous, Mum,’’ my daughter told me when I suggested her firstborn might sleep better on her front. Cases of sudden infant death have been significantly reduced, according to the Granny’s Guide, by laying the baby on its back, feet at the bottom of the cot, head uncovered.
Lots of humour and real-life contributions from Gransnetters and, thank goodness, no lecturing. I trained as a nurse at Great Ormond Street in the Sixties; back then, babies were always laid on their tummies to sleep. “Go with the modern flow,” the Granny’s Guide tells me, as this will “reduce arguments” and because “not everything we used to do was perfect – hard as it is to believe”. I phone Janet Ellis – she has one of those warm, gorgeous voices that bubbles away – and ask her about how she felt about being a gran.
Placing candles around the room is a sexy-time classic that no Urban Outfitters lamp will ever beat. Put some massage oil or lotion next to the bed so you can easily seduce him with your touch.