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We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as the norm. You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for this self-satisfaction. Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.” Whenever you start dwelling on how things , mentally shelve the thoughts in this box. Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. Many times when you’re angry, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong, which essentially gives away your power. We all make mistakes, and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. (You’ll need to retrieve these—litter angers the earth! Use a stress ball, and express your anger physically and vocally when you use it. You may feel silly, but this allows you to actually express what you’re feeling inside. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and gently flick it when you start obsessing on angry thoughts. Even if appears this way now, the past was not perfect.

Therefore, it’s impossible for them to validate you.

Knowing the other person, genuinely knowing, is the cornerstone of intimacy.

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Every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful. Learn a new skill instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered. Change your perception—see the root cause as a blessing in disguise. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does. Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.” 24. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. Get a facial after you delete his number from your phone, or head out with friends after putting all her things in a box.

If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again, it will be easier to move on. Visualize an empowered single you—the person you were before meeting your last love. Take down his pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder. Here’s why: The “falling in love” kind of love, not the familial love that you have, say, for your parents or children, is about receiving.The other kind of love—the tender feelings for children, or the compassionate love that you have when you’ve been married 50 years—is about giving.Only someone who has plunged your depths and finds you amazing, special, and wonderful can offer this level of validation.There may be people you have dated who feel as though they love you, but in your opinion, they don’t you.We replay past mistakes over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape our actions in the present. For example, jog with a backpack full of tennis balls.

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